Dear Mom.
It’s Christmastime andI think I’m going crazy.
I’m getting ready to hang the kids’
stockings and it’s been murder
decorating the tree so tonight I’m gonna have to knock myself out
to finish up before I go to bed. I have a sharp knife
to trim the extra branches and a loaded gun
of hot glue for the ornaments. I’d like to end it all
by around 10pm before I go on a rampage
cleaning the kitchen. I’m sure you’re just as sick
of the holidays like me and will shoot me
a return email in the New Year!
Meanwhile, tonight I need to be committed
even if it kills me.
Merry Christmas!
Your son.