burdens vs. loads

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6‬:‭2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

As a psychotherapist for 15 years, I learned early on the difference between carrying the burdens of others and letting them carry their own loads (Gal 5)

Buildings have walls that carry some weight of the roof but aren’t critical to the task as are load-bearing walls, without which, the structure would collapse.

Likewise, helping someone through a crisis eases their burden when we help bear some of their weight but acknowledge the load-bearing is theirs alone to carry.

People would ask me how I could hear such tragic stories in my therapy office all day and still sleep at night.

This burdens vs loads analogy was key to maintaining my own mental health while still being a helper to my patients.

If you find yourself all consumed when helping a friend through their troubles, knowing which of their weight-bearing walls are within your purview and capacity to carry and which are not might make all the difference for you to continue being an effective helper.

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